To be mother is a gift.

On Mother’s Day, we each have the chance to acknowledge the gift of life given to us through our mothers.

Make good use of it while you can!

Mothers are confronted with challenges beyond reason.
Until you have had the experience, nothing can prepare you for the amount of surrender of the self for the good of the whole, that a mother goes through in the process of caring for her children and making a home.

My own mother has passed away and there is not a day goes by that I do not think of a question that I wish I had asked her when I had the chance; or something funny that happened that I know she would enjoy to hear about.

When they are alive, mothers may seem like the enemy; the judge and jury… the one that can’t be pleased or always has something to say. Perhaps they are the one who let you down or didn’t do enough or didn’t get in your face… today…

After they have passed away however, the void created by their absence is quite extraordinary. I remember waking up the day after she passed with the shock of knowing I was now the ‘head of the family’, the boss was gone… I was all alone.

I was 52 years old when my mother passed away and I can still call up the memory of suddenly, with her loss… the feeling of no longer having anyone important I had to account to… I was actually finally an adult! … free, sad and alone!

But then, No! I wasn’t all alone, I was responsible for my whole family! Of course these days, that doesn’t mean what it used to, however it was still a shocking thought — to realize that everyone you once looked up to as your elder is gone and you have taken their place. Now there is no one to bounce ideas off or share your successes and failures with, because no one loves you like your mother.

I am sorry every day now that I didn’t have more patience in my life, so I could have enjoyed her more, rather than feeling I was in a race and the most important thing was winning. When I get past all the chaos of my personality, I see now, that ‘winning’ really meant, getting her approval.

At some level I was frantic for her approval and at another level could never figure out how to please her. We were such different people, we could not really ever understand each other. We were primarily connected through blood, not temperament or taste, yet she was my gift and my lesson for this life; she taught me many great lessons.

If you have the good fortune to have a mother who is still living, give up all the personality conflict.

Let it go!

She can be ‘right’, it’s not such a big deal… why not?

Love her while she’s here, in the flesh now, because everything changes and she won’t be here forever — you can count on that!

And the other thing you can count on is that she loves you — unconditionally, the best way she can. No matter what, you will always be her baby and she will always love you more than life itself, this is what being a mother is all about.

They have the hardest job on the planet and often those they care for come back when they are just old enough and say, “but it wasn’t enough to make me happy!”

It’s not her job to make you happy… that’s your job!

Never mind all that!
Be here now!

Happy Mother's Day!

Love your mother, because she represents the Divine Mother on earth… and she is the one you chose for the purpose of your own evolution.

This Mother’s Day, love her, let her know you care and that you appreciate what she has done for you and all her children since they were born.

Let her know how special she is to you and sit back and reap the rewards…

Joy into the world!

Make her smile… create memories worthy of your life together.

Remember, what goes around comes around  even on Mother’s Day!
More tomorrow…

Blazing tales of wonder, remembering all we have ever been or are about to become.
Your sister through chaos and comfort

Shankari The Alchemist

Hokulani
Big Island, Hawaii
May 2009