Charity, Part II
The reason I know so much about this subject is because I had a very profound experience in India a number of years ago.
Dewa, my husband, my son Ahkasha and I went to India to see the Delai Lama up in Daram Masala in the North at the base of The Himalayas. On first arrival, despite the fact that I had been living in third world conditions in Bali for many years, I was overwhelmed by the beggars and the deep poverty. I have a big heart but I found myself closing down with the immensity of the problem before my eyes.
We traveled from Bombay to New Delhi, then on to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. I was deeply depressed, closed off and in a kind of blind shock…unable to look at the beggars and completely unable to help them. I found I couldn’t give them anything because I felt it was not going to change their life and I am a person who feels compelled to discover solutions, rather than create dependence. I felt so guilty for all I had compared to how little they appeared to have.
By the time we arrived in Daram Masala, I was very sure that I needed to heal this pain within myself before I could travel another step. I meditated for a while and asked to be shown what to do.
Then I had it. I decided that I would give myself a budget for the beggars, who were all lepers in that town. I would then give this to them over the period of the four days that we were there. We were staying at the Snow Leopard Hotel right in front of the Tibetan Monastery. I changed the money into small denomination Indian Bank Notes, Ahkasha came with me and we slowly went around the town, giving a ten rupee note to every leper we met. I would stop in front of them, look them full in the face, smile from my heart and say clearly in English for myself to hear and him to feel, “I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity of sharing my wealth with you.”
The outcome was far more wide reaching than I had ever imagined. The lepers had never been looked at with love before. Usually people feel guilty when they see them and kind of throw money in their direction, making sure not to look too closely out of shame…the feeling I had experienced in Agra. This was a bigger healing for them and more generous than they had ever experienced before. They became my fan club and would gleefully wave at me from across the market place…perhaps for the first time having a friend to wave to who would wave back!
They became my personal watch team for Ahkasha who insisted, since he was twelve years old, he was old enough to go to the internet café by himself (yes they have one up there too!) The team of lepers would be on watch for his welfare and safe return home.
I was the one who truly had the gift. It was the best money I have ever spent in my life…it opened up the flow…and I felt enormous joy within my own Being. I bought them all a blanket because they were all saying winter was coming and they would be cold. Within an hour of receiving them, they were selling them back to the shop keeper. Why…because a beggar cannot afford to have beautiful things. Their stock in trade is your sympathy or guilt. You won’t be so generous if they look warm or beautiful. In fact to own such a blanket would be a liability. Everyone else would want it.
I am pleased I had the opportunity to see both sides. Give without guilt or conditions, and this will define and qualify what you receive.
