Recently I harvested enough purple sweet potatoes to feed an army… for a month… the tomatoes are in abundance and Avocado keep appearing in my kitchen , gifts from friends and neighbors who have too much.

Yesterday it was Mother’s Day…

I was feeling a deep sense of peace and pleasure, we had a picnic by the ocean down at Whittington Beach Park, with many friends and no family.  My kids are scattered all over the world, they can’t be dropping their lives to come here in person to say Happy Mother’s Day!…

I felt blessed since I had heard them already… it was a good day, we played music, ate local food grown organically and cooked with love…

That evening, with the ‘almost’ full moon over head and Venus hanging big and bright in the eastern sky,  I drove up to the new property on Orchid and Seaview, where I’m currently building accommodation for the Mystery School here in Hawaii.

I sat in the stillness. It was around 4am, the sun just starting to light up the sky… the air  cool and sweet smelling, the birds awakening with the light and commencing their morning ritual of singing the sunrise into the consciousness of the world.

As I sat in the semi darkness, I became more and more filled with what felt like effervescence… soon finding myself with tears pouring down my face and the revelation that

I was experiencing pure joy!

No one ever really explains what joy actually is because it’s a feeling… and like a color… a feeling is experienced by each of us differently.

As far as I can tell, I was in complete joy, filled up and overflowing with the love of The Divine Mother of All Creation, the life force of the universe…

A few moments later I had a download… a living vision… a daydream at dawn… whatever you want to call it….

As clear as day, I saw a temple built for the Divine Mother and a garden all around growing food, in the front was a beautiful kitchen and we were making wonderful soup from all the food and feeding the poor of the district.

It came to me in a heart beat.  These exchanges with other dimensions are outside normal time and space…   and as a result, are always a little strange when they happen.

That’s why we have to learn to trust the unseen real… to know that we are not being overcome by a demonic force because we have suddenly lost control of every aspect of our experience. But rather in the ‘letting go’ we are ‘letting God’ show us how we can be most useful at the time.

So now I know my mission with that part of the land and the purpose for all the extra food we’re growing in the district… when I came back to real time I was so elated I floated home and fell asleep with a big smile on my face…

It is so wonderful to actually experience joy once again.
As we get older it’s easy to become afraid and get caught up in the mundane,  forgetting the joyful world of creativity open to us always. My teacher often said that “in every case, charity is for the giver not the receiver… never delude yourself!”

After thirty three years of life experience, since his class, I know he was right. I am very clear this vision was a gift and the instruction… an honor and a privilege.

There is no doubt — I want to create this for the joy and satisfaction the adventure will bring to me personally — the challenge it will provide my creative soul, and the pleasure I will get from helping others less fortunate, while gathering the community in acts of co-operation and self caring…

Why will I do it?
For the pleasure of my heart and soul and the experience of joy… the effervescent aspect of the God force that makes my eyes water and my heart sing.

Blazing tales of wonder,
remembering all we have ever been and are about to become.

Your sister through chaos and comfort,
Shankari the Alchemist
….in the garden of Eden, on the side of a volcano, at the end of the earth… playing the flute for the Queen of Heaven…

I bought it at the local Saturday Morning Markets… it states in bold print…

“hire a teenager while they still know everything”

I laughed out loud when I saw it the first time…
Thinking on it for a while… I can’t believe how ignorant and arrogant I was as a teenager.

How did my mother ever put up with me?

So did you think about it?
What was the best thing you learned from your mother?

Of course we all learn a great deal from both our parents, but mothers have a special place.

Why?

Because they’re the ones who provide our first nourishment, warmth and nurturing… for quite a long time they appear, to be our only source of sustenance… so it’s understandable that to a child, their Mother hold’s an almost ‘God like” position… Indeed… she always has the last word!

I have to thank my mother for teaching me how to be tenacious and never give up.
That’s the biggest lesson I learned from her about life. She didn’t cuddle us much, she was a woman of her times and fairly closed off… but she taught me by example to “keep on, keeping on”.

She didn’t leave my father despite their challenges and her loneliness, she didn’t abandon my brother when he became a junky… instead she let him live at home and put a dead bolt on her bedroom door and stored her valuables in there so he would not be tempted to pawn them for drugs.

She never threw away a piece of paper that had not been used on both sides and she grew a lot of her own food… she was a genuine new ager long before her time… she will always be my hero, I find myself more in awe of her everyday, as my body changes and I experience the fact that I am not thirty anymore… I have a mortal body that is healthy and strong but is not designed to last forever… I appreciate her more and more everyday.

She showed me by example to be honest, diligent and responsible. She was strong minded, yet willing to learn new things and explore new places. She never let anything stop her from doing what she wanted to do… right up until the day she left she made her own rules…

She was a character, a mystery to those she met and an inspiration to those she loved. My regret, is that I didn’t take the time, to get to know her better.

I am grateful with every breath, because I had the gift of her love, in the form most appropriate for me and my lessons on earth…

… get to know her past… her dreams… her plans for the future… she may surprise you!!

Remembering all we have ever been and are about to become… your sister through chaos and comfort
Hokulani
Big Island. Hawaii
May 2009

He stayed drunk and I went to live as far away as possible… forgiveness was what made our friendship possible.  Children are always in judgment on their parents… it’s part of the deal when becoming human.

They are our teachers and our guides… to become independent, we have to cut the umbilical chord or stay forever irresponsible and childish in our relationships and approach to life.

Our mothers are the portal through whom we enter the earth plane. It is through that original service that we have the chance to grow and become enlightened through the human experience.

Something to consider for a moment is that everything on earth was born from a female… a “mother”…. Oh… that’s right… except of course Eve!
The first woman!
Or was she?

The History Channel will tell you. This was one of those fabrications in service to the patriarchal culture we inherited. They wanted complete control… they did not want to share the hearts and minds of the populace with the female religions.

They had to discredit the priestesses and the philosophy of the fertility/ feminine religions… so they couldn’t admit the source was Feminine. That’s why they removed Lilith… Adam’s first wife!

Oh yes!
He was married twice —  And his first wife didn’t die, she was ‘banished from the garden’ (which she may have felt was a relief from the manipulation and control of being inside ‘the garden’…)

Adam is said to have complained to God that his woman (Lilith) would not behave… she would not “lay underneath him”.

So I guess right at the beginning they wrote “The Divine Mother of All Creation” out of the Bible and replaced her with “The Holy Spirit” (poor sexless thing) .

Later the Catholics entered Mary as a possible focus for Feminine worship… thank heavens for that! Now they have repositioned her because the energy of the Goddess is returning and they couldn’t afford to lose more of the congregation than they already have… life is so fascinating, don’t you think?

My own mother, was a hero.
She taught me many valuable lessons and a positive, philosophical outlook… she loved knowledge and freedom, she was a voyeur by nature and often went on solo adventures to India (after she was 60yrs old) so she could draw the snake charmers in the market place, she was a genuine ‘character’.

She did the impossible on a regular basis… but as children we hardly noticed.
Of course I was afraid of her disapproval and the idea of failing her was a nightmare that traveled with me every day,  perhaps even still!

I was hoping for her approval… I never felt I really received her approval, she was not effusive and was not someone to ‘beat around the bush’ as they say in Australia. She would always come straight to the point… she was fearless and determined…

When I first arrived in Bali the phone systems were very unreliable, consequently there would be long periods of time when we didn’t get to speak… because logistically it was impossible.

We were friends in the end. I loved to speak with her from foreign countries;  it was a ritual.
Upon arriving in a new hotel room somewhere in Europe or America, the first thing I would do, would be to call her. We would talk for an hour or two… because the hotel phone was sure to work!

I didn’t completely appreciate her while she was alive.

Appreciate your own mother while she is still here… she will not be around forever…
Love her right now, no matter what her crimes in your’ little black book of the unforgivable…

…  or you will find yourself in years to come… wishing you did!

More tomorrow…

Blazing tales of wonder, remembering all we have ever been or are about to become.
Your sister through chaos and comfort

Shankari The Alchemist

Hokulani
Big Island, Hawaii

Not at a personality level, but at an energetic level… through your signature frequency…

Imagine if you were pure energy, an evolving soul with a certain frequency of Being,  waiting for an opportunity to incarnate into a situation that will provide you with the very best environment for your next level of evolution…

So there you are, a unique energetic frequency sending out the message that you are ready for your next adventure on earth… waiting for your next body.

You do not necessarily, immediately get a new body and associated budding personality… you have to wait for the right partnership to come together and create the perfect karmic environment for your unique needs.

Your parents came together in that fateful moment and you hear the call… these people by coming together and creating a baby are  providing exactly the perfect environment for your karmic lessons and opportunity for evolution…

They are setting you up so you will be available throughout your life to meet and serve those you owe and be served by those who have a debt to you or you are currently to create a debt with…

Life is all about balance… finding the balance…

So we are activated into our new incarnation by the energy produced at the moment of conception, since there is no matter, movement through time and space and between dimensions is in an instant…

It is for this reason that we are so interconnected with each other.

Soul family.
We often return again and again in different roles with each other so we can become compassionate and forgiving… understanding everything because we have had the opportunity to walk in the shoes at some other time and have evolved sufficiently to be of service to everyone we come across in our life.

I often meet people who feel they are not really the child but the parent in the relationship with their Mother. Perhaps they were in that role in a recent life… but in this life, cannot let go of feeling responsible.

There are an infinite number of variations on this theme. It’s only interesting — not life changing, because the most important life is now and the most important relationship is the one with yourself as it reflects back to you from those around you.

With this knowledge, know your parents were your choice.

There is no one to blame for anything… everyone is an innocent victim of everyone else and it’s time for us all to heal… right now!

There was no mistake… everything that happens to you until you are twelve is already in the signature of the frequency you chose to explore in this lifetime.

Let all your judgments go and bath in the waters of forgiveness…

Your mother was your portal to this world, she did her best, she was the innocent victim of her world, just as we were ourselves…

It’s up to each one of us to honor the universal energy of fertility… our own mothers… The Divine Mother… because without them we would not be here to share this story.

I love my mother.
I love the memories she left me with… of her eccentricities, her strength, her courage and her willingness to be unusual… to think outside the box and give us kids the right to do the same.

She is my hero and I am so grateful to her for the opportunity she gave me to be her friend, to share our stories and laugh together from one side of the planet to the other.
One of the last things I said to her was… “you should go soon, because I can see how frustrated you are with your failing physical body… and there is this thing called “Photoshop” that you would really love… but you will never get there from here… you need a new life!”

She was back very promptly, and at 6 years of age she is becoming a master of her digital world!

Nothing dies, everything is recycled… including our mothers!

Remembering all we have ever been and are about to become…
your sister through chaos and comfort

Shankari The Alchemist

Hokulani
Big Island. Hawaii
May 2009

You may think I am heartless, but I am glad my mother has passed on because her body had become old and was no longer able to hold or support her spirit anymore…

I have the gift of knowing she came right back as my oldest son’s first son.
It’s a long story for another time…

Suffice to say, in her new form she is deeply engaged becoming her new self and what unique connection we had at his birth was quickly lost after three months when she agreed to be completely immersed in her new identity.

So even though I know where she is, she is no longer my mother; she has evolved on and is once again a child and I am not even the mother but rather the grandmother…

That’s what we all do.
We grow and change, die and are reborn…
It’s up to us to remember to take the time and enjoy the journey.
There really is no rush. This is a discipline and a revelation to me; every day, even now!
Be here now and enjoy your mother.  She is the one you chose, who chose you.

You are or have been in a symbiotic relationship with her for a long time, perhaps for many more life times than you care to admit or remember…

Enjoy your time together, give up everything that separates you… all the blame, judgment and grief… give it all up because there will come a time in the future when you will wonder what on earth possessed you to spend so much of your life worrying about such trivia.

In the larger scheme of things it’s your human relationships that give you the opportunity to grow and our mothers are our first and primary relationship and then, guide…

So this Mothers’ Day,  consider this..

What was the best, most profound thing you have learned from your mother?

My mother taught me to be tenacious…  I consider that quality one of my most useful and valuable skills of my whole life.

She was a child of the Depression, so she was very conservative with her resources. ‘Use what you’ve got’… ‘Never complain because you don’t have what you think you need… remember, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’… or her favorite, “Can’t is the won’t of people who don’t”

These are all typical of my mothers personal philosophy.  She was a pioneer, a hero, and I consider myself blessed to have had her in my life for as long as I did.  She was not perfect, but she was perfect for my needs. She was the best mother I could ever have and I am very grateful to her for all her sacrifice and surrender on behalf of myself and my two siblings.

Think of your own mother.
Give her permission to be who she is; don’t judge… relax.
You will have permission to be who you want to be…  the minute you allow others the same right… especially your mother.

She represents the Divine Feminine in your life, no matter what your personal challenges may be.

Honor her, respect her, love her, she is the only one you will ever have in this lifetime …
Protect her and take care of her, because when she is gone she can never be replaced…
She is the source of your journey on earth this time and she will always love you, no matter what you do…

That’s who she is and what she is put here to do!

She is your Mum…

Remembering all we have ever been and are about to become…
your sister through chaos and comfort

Shankari The Alchemist

Hokulani
Big Island. Hawaii
May 2009

To be mother is a gift.

On Mother’s Day, we each have the chance to acknowledge the gift of life given to us through our mothers.

Make good use of it while you can!

Mothers are confronted with challenges beyond reason.
Until you have had the experience, nothing can prepare you for the amount of surrender of the self for the good of the whole, that a mother goes through in the process of caring for her children and making a home.

My own mother has passed away and there is not a day goes by that I do not think of a question that I wish I had asked her when I had the chance; or something funny that happened that I know she would enjoy to hear about.

When they are alive, mothers may seem like the enemy; the judge and jury… the one that can’t be pleased or always has something to say. Perhaps they are the one who let you down or didn’t do enough or didn’t get in your face… today…

After they have passed away however, the void created by their absence is quite extraordinary. I remember waking up the day after she passed with the shock of knowing I was now the ‘head of the family’, the boss was gone… I was all alone.

I was 52 years old when my mother passed away and I can still call up the memory of suddenly, with her loss… the feeling of no longer having anyone important I had to account to… I was actually finally an adult! … free, sad and alone!

But then, No! I wasn’t all alone, I was responsible for my whole family! Of course these days, that doesn’t mean what it used to, however it was still a shocking thought — to realize that everyone you once looked up to as your elder is gone and you have taken their place. Now there is no one to bounce ideas off or share your successes and failures with, because no one loves you like your mother.

I am sorry every day now that I didn’t have more patience in my life, so I could have enjoyed her more, rather than feeling I was in a race and the most important thing was winning. When I get past all the chaos of my personality, I see now, that ‘winning’ really meant, getting her approval.

At some level I was frantic for her approval and at another level could never figure out how to please her. We were such different people, we could not really ever understand each other. We were primarily connected through blood, not temperament or taste, yet she was my gift and my lesson for this life; she taught me many great lessons.

If you have the good fortune to have a mother who is still living, give up all the personality conflict.

Let it go!

She can be ‘right’, it’s not such a big deal… why not?

Love her while she’s here, in the flesh now, because everything changes and she won’t be here forever — you can count on that!

And the other thing you can count on is that she loves you — unconditionally, the best way she can. No matter what, you will always be her baby and she will always love you more than life itself, this is what being a mother is all about.

They have the hardest job on the planet and often those they care for come back when they are just old enough and say, “but it wasn’t enough to make me happy!”

It’s not her job to make you happy… that’s your job!

Never mind all that!
Be here now!

Happy Mother's Day!

Love your mother, because she represents the Divine Mother on earth… and she is the one you chose for the purpose of your own evolution.

This Mother’s Day, love her, let her know you care and that you appreciate what she has done for you and all her children since they were born.

Let her know how special she is to you and sit back and reap the rewards…

Joy into the world!

Make her smile… create memories worthy of your life together.

Remember, what goes around comes around  even on Mother’s Day!
More tomorrow…

Blazing tales of wonder, remembering all we have ever been or are about to become.
Your sister through chaos and comfort

Shankari The Alchemist

Hokulani
Big Island, Hawaii
May 2009